#4: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think
(& three shifts that actually help)
At some point, most women do not decide to care what other people think.
They simply wake up one day realizing they do.
They replay conversations.
They soften their opinions.
They say yes when they mean no.
They manage reactions, moods, and expectations.
I know this pattern well.
Not just from the women I work with, but from my own life.
There was a time when I measured my worth by how well I held things together, how smooth I could make situations feel, and how little space I took up in the process. And even now, this is something I still return to with intention. Awareness is not a one time achievement. It is a practice.
If this resonates, hear this gently.
Caring what others think is rarely about weakness.
It is usually about responsibility, connection, and a desire to do the right thing.
The work is not to stop caring altogether.
The work is to stop letting other people’s opinions outrank your own clarity.
Here are three shifts that actually help.
1. Notice what you are protecting, not what you are doing wrong
Most people pleasing behaviors are protective.
You are not overthinking because something is wrong with you.
You are overthinking because somewhere along the way, you learned that being agreeable, capable, or easy to be around kept things calm or safe.
Before trying to change the behavior, pause and ask:
What am I trying to protect right now
Harmony
Approval
Avoiding disappointment
Avoiding being misunderstood
When you name what you are protecting, the behavior softens.
You stop fighting yourself and start understanding yourself.
And understanding is what creates real change.
2. Separate your responsibility from other people’s reactions
This was a hard one for me, and it still requires practice.
You are responsible for your honesty, your integrity, and your boundaries.
You are not responsible for how someone else feels about them.
So much internal pressure comes from quietly carrying responsibility that was never yours to hold.
You can be kind and still disappoint someone.
You can be clear and still be misunderstood.
You can do the right thing and still not be liked.
Letting go of that weight does not make you selfish.
It makes you grounded.
3. Anchor your decisions in truth, not approval
When you are unsure of what you stand for, other people’s opinions naturally become louder.
Clarity changes that.
When you know what matters to you
what aligns with your values
and what God says is true about who you are
decisions begin to feel steadier.
You do not need everyone to agree with you.
You need to be able to stand with yourself.
This is not something you master once and move on from.
It is something you return to again and again.
Over time, the questions shift.
Instead of asking, Will this upset someone
you begin asking, Is this true for me
That question changes everything.
A final thought…
You do not need to become hardened or indifferent to stop caring what others think.
You do not need to lose your compassion or sensitivity.
You simply need a stronger relationship with your own clarity.
And if this feels familiar, you are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are just becoming more honest with yourself.
That honesty is where peace begins.